Parenting teens is challenging enough, but stepparenting teens? Exponentially more difficult. Here are 4 tips to help you navigate this phase!

This blog documents all the craziness that comes from being a step parent! The stories, the tears, the laughter and all of the love.

Being a good stepmom also means being involved with your children's biological mom. Here are 8 Truths Stepmom's wish bio mom's understood.

Throughout her career, Gisele Bündchen showed what it is to be a supermodel, and in her private life, what it is to be a super mom. One of her 3 children was born in her husband’s previous relationship. But that didn’t stop her from loving him as if he were her own. She even invented the term “bonus mom” because she doesn’t feel she is his stepmother, but just another person who can give him the love of a mother.

Good morning! So after this long, LONG weekend I'm feeling a certain type of way as a stepmom. People honestly don't tell you the truth about being a step mom and then it's this huge surprise when you become one and it's not all fairy dust and unicorn kisses. My sister in law was the most honest about it and told me directly that it's probably going to suck most of the time. Not because of the kids, or the husband, but it's going to be the co-parenting. Lord have mercy was she right. Again let me preface with we co-parent very well with Brianna's mom and step dad Corey. Not that we didn't have any bumps in the road ever, trust me we had our disagreements and arguments BUT the point is we were able to be adults and work it out. Because at the end of the day it really is all about the kid, that's not just a cute meme people post on Facebook. Brianna is our only child who knows who her family is, what role they play and that she can feel comfortable loving all of us in her own way. She doesn't ever have to pick who she wants to be around. Unfortunately our other two children don't have it that easily. Let me start by saying this post is about being a step mom and having absolutely no say whatsoever with the child. Seriously. I'm not joking. I can raise that tiny little human being any way I want, in MY home. When she goes to another home, I have on say there. I can only hope they take our advice and really do what's best for her. Again, unfortunately that isn't happening. Ashley showed up with a yeast infection for the second week in a row. Again by Sunday we had it cleared up to ship her back to no mans land (because honestly we have no idea where she lives, crazy right?). In hopes that she comes back without this gnarly yeast infection next week I've found myself SO ANNOYED. Mainly because I can't take care of her during the week like I feel she should be. This is where the little voices in your head scream "YOU'RE NOT HER MOM". seriously though, I'm not. and that SUCKS. Especially because of the environment she's in during the week. I can't scream at her other family, I can't send text messages of concern, I can't even be Facebook friends. It's such a hard thing that nobody tells you about regarding being the STEP MOM and not the REAL mom. Trust me, that gets thrown in your face at least half a dozen times before the sting goes away. Co parenting with someone who doesn't even want to parent is the hardest thing to live with. You get attached to these tiny humans and you want the best for them. Here's the end of this insane rant so I can move on with my week, step parenting is TOUGH and anyone who tells you it's all roses and love notes is lying to you. Right to your face. Step parenting is probably the hardest thing you will ever do, whether the child lives with you most of the time or not. Because at the end of the day you aren't a biological parent. As much as you may have control in your house you don't have control in the child's other home. Just remember your love isn't being diminished because you're a step parent. A step parents love is so amazing because they chose to love when they didn't have to. Have a blessed week guys! Kristen

Free and Funny Family Ecard: Step-Mom: a women that continues to love a child despite being repeatedly stabbed in the back. Create and send your own custom Family ecard.

Mom burnout is something most of us have felt. Here are 4 common symptoms and 3 less common but powerful ways to cope.

Hey guys! So this is kind of a random post but the other day I had a headache and took Excedrin late and then I couldn't sleep so obviously that made me just sit up at night thinking about life. ha. #typical. Anyway so I was thinking about this text message Ashley's mom sent me the other day that started like "Hey girl!" and it was following a phone call she had made earlier that day about Ashley's antibiotics or something. It really made me appreciate that relationship that I have with her. It wasn't always like that but it's definitely working towards it and I really have to appreciate that. The struggle is real. Ashley was four months old when I started dating Michael so I can imagine the tough transition Tammy went through. Eventually she came to realize that I was a fantastic step mom and loved Ashley as much as she did and that's ultimately what matters. Even through this entire Leigha situation she went to court with mike and established custody (which is joint custody) and it went into court and they signed a parenting plan for holidays, emergency contacts and every weekend mike will have her. NOW THAT'S CO PARENTING! I'm so proud of the relationships I've formed with Brianna and Ashley's mom and I think it says a lot. We actually went to dinner the other night with the girls and Becky and Corey to the melting pot which was INCREDIBLE. It was so nice to sit down and have a couples night with the kids and relax. I love having those relationships where nobody's mad or hostile. The girls would totally think that's super weird if we ever got into an argument or were mad at each other. Me and Becky have been having numerous conversations regarding briannas school and it's been made very clear that Becky wants ALL OF BRIANNAS PARENTS to be involved in any decisions being made regarding her education. That's how it should be, people tend to think that because a marriage or relationship didn't work out that there then has to be hostility. There doesn't! That's amazing that people want to be mad all the time. The biggest problem I have is when women cannot accept the fact that the man has moved on. I met mike in April of 2014, we were engaged in February of 2015 (which triggered a huge melt down from someone) and we were married in October of 2015. That's a pretty significant thing to marry someone, I feel like that's a billboard shout out that he's moved on. Clinging to something that isn't there shows mental instability and a refusal to move on. At some point there has to be a move on, you have to accept that there is no longer a relationship there and just have a working relationship with that parent. Using spite and a child to get back at someone for moving on after a traumatizing relationship really doesn't hurt anyone except for the child. Manipulation, mental abuse, emotional abuse is not a way to get someone back. Especially when a child is involved. I have fantastic working relationships with these two women and I couldn't be more appreciative of that. We communicate, we engage, we love these kids. As a matter of fact they're more likely to text me than mike because I'm the mom at my house and it's way easier to talk to a woman! Which is totally fine with Mike, he fully enjoys the fact that it's a proven fact that I have two other relationships so clearly the problem isn't ME. I just want all of you step moms and dads to know that we can all be adults, it's not difficult. Just remember when someone loves your child as much as you do, that's the step parent you want in your childs life. Because it's all about loving the child and making sure they succeed in life. When a relationship ends, move on. Don't use the child out of spite. Form a relationship with the new wife, girlfriend whatever. It's so much easier to be a family than not. Keep that in mind for this weekend coming up and when you all do your exchanges just make that extra effort to be insanely nice and really try to bond with that other parent. Have a great day guys! Kristen

Just like bearing children, choosing to become a step-parent is a tremendous act of love. But while many biological parents end up having kids in a, ahem,

Free and Funny Family Ecard: I love all my children, including the ones that I did not give birth to. Create and send your own custom Family ecard.

Good morning again guys! I've done a little research recently about the struggles of co-parenting and how it can emotionally affect children even in the most ideal of circumstances. Co-parenting requires both parents to ultimately parent alone while also including the other parent in major decisions (if that parent is involved fully). SO if you're parenting in a healthy way and the other parent is not, that causes emotional issues for the children. Lets say you purchase something for your child and the other parent returns it to the store for money. Probably not the healthiest parenting decision. Or if you buy your child something and the other parent is very expressive about your wife or husband and doesn't like that the gift came from both of you and proceeds to throw the gift away. That's a fantastic example of unfit parenting. Co-Parenting requires open communication and empathy for it to work, if you can't do that then you have no business trying to parent at all. There are two ways to problem solve when you're co-parenting without damaging the child, one of those is strategic problem solving. This requires both parents to exchange through communication needs of the child while also sharing concerns they may have about a situation. Then you problem solve through it to find a healthy solution to fix the problem at hand. This obviously involves open communication about the child whether it's medically or educationally. Whatever may be happening you have to communicate it. As a matter of fact the other day me and my oldest stepdaughters mother had a nice facetime conversation. We went over what some strengths and weaknesses are and then problem solved how to make this situation better for our child. That's the entire point of our lives, to make our daughters life better. Sometimes she opens up to one mom and not the other, and that's TOTALLY fine. it's ENCOURAGED because that way we can solve the situation so our child is more loved and more confident in herself. All it took was a text asking for a facetime and a thirty minute facetime chat. No yelling, no screaming, no blame. Just a genuine conversation about how to fix how the child was feeling. Isn't that great! There's also social-psychological problem solving which involves a bit more emotion. This looks at your attitude towards the situation and the blind spots in co-parenting. This really looks at why you're having problems co-parenting and negotiating circumstances. An example would be at one point in my step daughters life her mother wanted holidays she wasn't entitled to. I gave her the first holiday and she ruined it. She basically kidnapped her and refused to bring her home,therefore we needed to go pick her up. That should have been followed with a social-psychological conversation about why there was a blind spot there and why she felt entitled to do whatever she wanted with the child. Legal or not, a conversation like this should have been had. So here are some ways you can ensure proper co-parenting happens in a healthy way and the children aren't used as pawns in a narcissists game. 1. Commit to making a healthy co-parenting communication. Whether this is through facetime (which is great!) or email, texting or even face to face communication. Share information regarding the childs medical,educational, athletic or social life. What's going on, what are they struggling with, what are their strengths and weaknesses, do they have any athletic or social events coming up. Anything that could be discussed this needs to be made into a pact. Because without communication there is absolutely no co-parenting. There can be no secrets being kept, you cannot tell your child to "not tell daddy or mommy" because having your child keep secrets from the other parent opens pandoras box to extreme danger. don't do this! 2. Rules regarding the child need to be consistent in both households. There's a lot of times where the rules aren't consistent and the child is confused and emotionally abused because there's rules at one house where you don't have to brush your teeth and you can eat gummy worms for dinner and enjoy your six cavities. Then there's rules where the child really needs to take care of their dental health and brush twice a day. That's a weird example but things like that really need to be together and agreed upon. Homework should be done at both homes. There was a situation where one of my step daughters was going through some behavioral things and I would inform the other parent about it and she refused to acknowledge it. She would encourage the behavior and that's just not healthy for anyone involved. 3. Commit to positive talk around the house. This means stop bad mouthing the other parent and parents spouse. We've really tried to make a point in our house to let our children know we WANT to hear about your time with the other parent. I always ask ashley "how was your week with mommy?" and when she's leaving i say "be a good girl for grammy and mommy and hank!". We've been in situations where the other parent continously bad mouthed me. I actually have a video of Leigha telling me that "mommy called you a bitch and a liar" which happened to be the second time she had said that. The first time was in the car with me and my husband and she said "mommy made me said. she said kristen was a bitch". that was a terrible thing to have to explain to Leigha and make sure she was emotionally okay (we have a video of this child being upset so don't think i'm just making this up). 4. Keep everyone informed. This one should be common sense but you'd be surprised. We actually have a court order with one of the children regarding changes of address and such. We gave written notice when we moved to the other parent and the other address we moved to. Just so the parent is involved and knowing where the child is living every weekend. Parents should know who their children are around (this is also obvious but you'd be surprised) and who they're living with. I run background checks like a champ, I'll find out stuff you didn't even know about your significant other. Your child should never be the primary source of information. These scenarios should help out any situation you find yourself in regarding co-parenting. Always keep in mind that the child is the first priority and the highest priority. I have such great relationships with two of my step childrens moms because we fostered that relationship. We have open communication, were like an extended family. Because then the children don't feel like they have to lie and hide for their parents. Because that's ridiculous, that shouldn't even be an option. We never have to worry about what the child may say to the other parent because we never say anything that needs to be hidden. Always always always remember these children did NOT choose this situation. So make it the best possible situation you can :) As always feel free to send me an email with any questions or concerns or just to talk to a fellow step parent! Have a great day guys! Kristen

First of all thank you to all who read, commented, shared, like and messaged me about my last blog post Part One. There are so many differen...

Quotes for stepmoms

What is it really like being a step mom? It's more complicated than you think! These step mom quotes shed light on the wonderful and complex role a woman plays when she creates a blended family.

Free and Funny Father's Day Ecard: Dad, I just wanted you to know that I still love you, even though I never visit because my stepmom is a bitch. Create and send your own custom Father's Day ecard.

Long time no blog! life has been INSANE. This step mama is EXHAUSTED! so the past few months have just been a complete whirlwind of emotions and things happening that I never thought were actually legal to be honest. In June I went to court for custody of my step daughter leigha on behalf of my husband. This court date consisted of the Judge being so incredibly understanding and nice, and Leighas mom cussing on the record ... numerous times. Classy. Regardless custody wasn't changed because it wasn't filed correctly blah blah. We were due back in court with DCPP (formerly known as DYFS) on July 25th, which *dun dun dun* was cancelled *shocked face*. So we wait, and wait and wait and grow some gray hairs, celebrate whatever holidays happen in there, we moved you know the norm. We actually moved because leighas mom has a nasty habit of being mentally unstable and we no longer felt safe in our apartment so we moved to a gated community in another town. Needless to say I don't think she's getting past the gate guard, the cameras and the alarm system *phew*. Moving on, so were coming up on three months and guess what? NO court date! We did however get child support papers from leighas mom. Leighas mom paid ZERO money towards child support for FOUR YEARS of leighas life, nothing, nada. No medical benefits, no daycare money while my husband worked full time, no money towards the roof over her head, clothes on her back. Do you know who did pay for that? her Step mother! the evil step mother. I put my hard earned money to buying her things for her room, and christmas presents, and doctors appointments and field trips and plays at school. I did that. Anyway, so we have court on October 19th for child support while our other court date is still pending. SO I called today to find out yet again what the issue could be, I was told by the court clerk that the DAG (the attorney for DYFS) and DYFS could not agree on a court date. So were getting pushed back because the children can't agree on a day? Or don't want to agree on a day? So regardless the date is still not reset, we have child support court were hoping to get postponed. As far as Leigha herself is concerned, she's a hot mess. She's been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD and I'm personally throwing in Bipolar. Her emotions are everywhere, she's up and down emotionally, she's distraught all the time. She talks about me to Michael during a visit then immediately asks him in a terrified manner not to tell her mom that she talked about her. What's that about? Her mom also tried to make it so the school couldn't give out any information about Leigha to michael. Isn't that crazy? probably because leigha is a hot mess and the school documents it and has to tell Michael about it. We weren't aware of the first day of school or back to school night. Now that we have the online access we can track everything about Leigha. We know when she misses school, we know there was a child study team involved with her, we know when her doctors appointments are. She also left out that school pictures were Thursday so we got that information as well so we could purchase our own. It really just baffles me how out of control this situation is. Almost a year ago leigha was placed in a house that's infested with bed bugs, she currently lives with two felons and someone else with a criminal history, the house has no heat, she eats cinnamon toast crunch and has five cavities. She tells michael she didn't brush her teeth last night because she didn't eat dinner, she didn't eat dinner because she ate too many gummy worms. WHAT?! In what world does any of that make sense? So this is a little dip into my world the past few months, it's been surgeries, nonsense, christmas shopping, holidays, prepping for the upcoming holidays, working, and trying to keep my sanity in it's container. But I'm back and ready for my future blogs! So keep in touch and keep listening and reading for my future shenanigans!

Free and Funny Mom Ecard: The luckiest woman on this earth is she who is given the gift of bonus children to love and a mother that will let her. Create and send your own custom Mom ecard.

When I talk to new stepmoms, it always brings me back to those early stepmom years. The years where I felt the pressures, the insecurities and like everything in my life was out of my control.